Don't Want To Find Out (What Hurts The Most)
by CriminalIntelligence
Summary: A series of one-shots from all six seasons of how Sam feels whenever Andy's life is at stake on the job.
1. Butterflies

Don't Want to Find Out (What Hurts The Most)

A group of oneshots based on what I feel Sam may have been feeling each time that Andy's life had been in extreme danger on the job.

 **Disclaimer! I don't own Rookie Blue, seriously, if I did then Sam and Andy would have never broken up and we would be getting more McSwarek feels anytime that she gets hurt.**

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Chapter 1: Butterflies (2x01)

The first time that he almost lost her while they were on the job, was when he realized that he loved her. He had never felt this much panic and fear run through him before, not even when Sarah had been attacked during his senior year in high school. He heard the resonating sound of the bullet leaving the gun before anything and his first instinct was to look in the direction of his rookie. He watched as the girl next to her fell to the ground with an ungraceful thud and he was ashamed that he almost breathed a sigh of relief when he realized it wasn't Andy, then the second shot sounded and he watched as his newly released rookie took the hit.

His world stopped spinning in an instant as he watched in slow motion her arms stretch out on either side of her, the force of the bullet practically lifting her off her feet. He took off in her direction before she hit the ground, almost hoping with some irrational hope that he would get to her before her head made contact with the hard cement ground.

He never knew that he could feel such strong emotion towards a person, sure he had been in love before, but that was in high school, nothing compared to how he was feeling now. He wondered if this is how Luke felt about Andy, but he scoffed at the thought, the only thing he loved was his job. To Callahan, Andy was just a side show to entertain him when he didn't have a case. Or at least, that's how Sam viewed it, along with Oliver, Jerry, and Traci and the rest of the rookies. The only one who couldn't see it was her.

She was already trying to get up by the time he reached her, it had taken him longer than he would've liked, but the people blocking him from her were in a panic and trying to reach her through a mob wasn't as easy as people in the movies made it out to be.

"Lie back! Lie back" He told her as he pushed her back down against the concrete. He saw that she was struggling to breathe and he rushed, trying to get the vest off of her as quickly as he could. He leaned down slightly, not enough for anyone to notice, but enough for her to be able to hear him and he whispered in her ear.

"Shh, it's okay, McNally, you're okay." He soothed as he still fought with the vest. Oliver sat next to him with the girl who had been shot, but both of them knew that she wouldn't make it.

"1509, shots fired! Supernova, Queens' Key and Richardson. Two people shot, officer down, requesting ambulance right away! Repeat officer down!" He yelled into his radio, Oliver looked up at him and Sam knew that his friend had heard the panic in his voice. He looked back down at her.

"Andy, just let the air out." He moved around the top of her head, and placed a hand on her cap, the other one roaming her side, searching for where the bullet had made contact with her vest.

"McNally, you're going to be fine okay? Just stay down, don't try and get up alright? It looks like the bullet got stuck in your vest. Just stay put and try to breathe okay?" He watched as she began to struggle again.

"Hey, hey it's okay, you just got winded" He soothed, stroking her hat before getting up and running off.

"You'll be fine, I have to go though, I have to be the boss right now." He called as he rushed away. He wished that he didn't have to, not when Andy was hurt, albeit not seriously, but it wasn't a choice that he had options for, not in the present moment. So he took off, leaving Oliver with Andy.

When everything had calmed down, he stood outside of the detective's van that Andy was in, currently going through the shooting with Jo. He ran his hand over his face, releasing a large sigh. He knew that she was okay, but his heart apparently didn't want to believe it, as it was still thumping out of his chest a mile per minute. He heard the door behind him open and he turned around to see Andy slowly make her way down the steps. She hadn't even gotten to the bottom before he started to drag her off to the side, his hand resting in between her shoulder blades.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked softly, looking directly at her, hoping to see if she was lying or not.

"F-fine" She stuttered "I mean, that was really scary, and it hurt so bad, but I'm alright. I'm alright. I just got this bruise that's forming-" She trailed off the moment they were out of view from everyone else as his hands travelled up her sides and to her cheeks, cupping her face in his palms as he examined her himself. She looked at him intently, a questioning look in her eyes.

"What?" She asked, and Sam was so close to just closing the distance between them and showing her how he actually felt when she looked past him.

"Sam" She said, and he turned, looking in the direction that she was. A teenager had been watching them, and began walking away when he realized Andy had spotted him.

"You've got to be kidding me." He muttered as he began running towards the fence, he looked back at Andy and pointed to the truck.

"You've got to get behind that truck" He demanded before taking off into a sprint, his heart rate still at an accelerated pace, although now for a different reason.


	2. Everlasting

**Disclaimer: Still applies, this totally would have happened if I had it my way.**

 **If you have any suggestions as to moments that I could do in the show, just let me know!**

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Everlasting (5x11)

He knew that there were times that he would be worried about her on the job, but he never thought that he would have to be worried about her while she was at the station. At least that's how he thought before he had gotten shot, but even then he didn't stop to think something would happen to her while she was inside of 15. But when the whole station had shook roughly, his first thought was ' _where's Andy?'_

He didn't fathom that it was an explosion; he just knew something was wrong as the alarm began to sound. The whole interview room shook and the lights flickered, but still he didn't think that it was an explosion. Yet that didn't stop him from getting up on autopilot to find his girlfriend. He rounded the corner and found Jarvis walking towards him.

"Sir, what the hell is going on?" He asked looking to either side of him. Jarvis shrugged.

"I don't know, but let's evacuate the building" Sam nodded, although instead he turned around and ran up the stairs towards where the slight haze in the air seemed to be coming from. He turned the corner and paused. The evidence room hall was filled with shattered glass and smoke. People were coughing on the ground and it hit him like a ton of bricks when he remembered. _Andy was in there_.

"What the hell happened?" He asked a young cop rushing past him, he saw a body on the floor, and rushed to see who it was.

"McNally?" He asked turning the cop over. The woman looked up at him.

"It's alright, I'm okay" He almost felt bad for not asking if she was, but it wasn't his main concern.

"Have you seen McNally?" He asked another cop who had come to check on the woman as well, and he shook his head no. Sam ran frantically in search of her, his mind automatically thinking the worst. He noticed Oliver up ahead, talking into his radio and Sam yelled to his brother.

"Where's McNally?" He screamed and Oliver turned towards him.

"I don't know!" He yelled back, before calling for a bomb squad to sweep the entire floor. Sam rushed past him into the evidence room.

"Chip, you alright?" He asked the officer at the desk, he was just standing up and he nodded, "Yeah, I think so."

"Where's McNally?" He asked him, and he pointed to the evidence room.

"She's in there!" Glass crunched loudly under Sam's feet as the door slammed open. He ran to the gate and screamed her name as he opened it.

"McNally!" He called through the rubble, pulling his hand back as the metal gated door shocked him. Adrenaline was coursing through him, along with fear and panic. She was in the midst of the explosion, and it had obviously caused extensive damage. He kept looking for her, but with every passing second he saw the end of his world becoming more and more of a reality.

"Andy?" He called, his voice beginning to get rough form the smoke, he pushed away a shelf, giving him more room to look around. Another metal shelf lay across the floor blocking his path and he threw it across the room without a second thought.

He couldn't lose her. He refused to be left without her, especially since he really had only just gotten her back. He had never been so happy in his life than with her in it, and he knew that he couldn't go back to being a shell of a person. He existed for her, and he now knew that his God-given purpose on Earth was to be the best man he could be, _for her_.

"I'm going to help Sam" He heard Oliver shout to someone, although he wasn't paying attention to whom that person was.

"Sam, do you see her?" His friend yelled into the room and it scared Sam even more because, no he still had yet to find her. He ignored his friend and kept searching.

 _"_ _McNally!"_ He screamed desperately, and Oliver watched from the doorway, his heart aching for his friend as he watched the figure of Sam searching the room in a panic, trying to find the love of his life.

"What?" He heard a small voice call back, and Sam ripped past the two shelves blocking his path from her. He looked around for a moment before seeing her body curled up against the brick wall, yet another shelf in the way, just barely hiding her from his line of sight. Her body was slouched over debris and when Sam was able to he dropped roughly to his knees beside her.

"Hey," His voice cracked as he pulled her towards him, and he knew that he was crying. "Are you okay?"

"I can't really hear anything," She replied, her voice cracking, thick with smoke. He squinted his eyes to look at her and waved his hand back and forth in a futile attempt to clear away the smoke from around them.

"That's okay." He croaked before letting out a shaky laugh, she looked at him and then observed the damage of the room.

"Are you okay?" He asked again, only the second of no doubt many more times to come. His breathing was heavy as he tried to clear the emotion away from his face at the thought that he had lost her.

"Are you crying?" She asked, as she noticed the tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

 _"_ _No!"_ Sam let out a breathy gasp; she didn't need to know how scared he was, not just yet. There was too much to deal with yet. When they got home they would talk about it.

"I got smoke in my eye" He waved around the room, and his voice was steadier now, but Sam saw that she didn't buy it.

"You thought I was dead." It was spoken as a statement rather than a question and it took everything that Sam had not to lose it right there, because he _had_ thought she was dead. He thought he had lost _his world_. His life was so close to having come crashing down within a matter of minutes and if it had, he wouldn't have been able to survive.

"Didn't you?" He breathed deeply, not taking his eyes off of her for even a moment as he sat back on his legs. There had been a lot of times where he worried about her life, but this was the closest call.

After a minute of just watching her, making sure she was really there and not just a figment of his imagination he stood up and pulled her to him. One hand went up to her hair and the other was wrapped tightly around her waist, making sure that even if she were to fall, that she wouldn't touch the ground. Andy wrapped her hands around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder, letting him relish in the knowledge that she was okay.

"I love you _so much,_ McNally" He said, his voice gruff. She pulled back and gently kissed his cheek.

"I love you Sam." She replied and they made their way out of the former evidence room, Sam scooping her up into his arms. She wrapped her hands back around his neck, knowing that he needed her as close as possible.

"Andy, are you okay?" Oliver asked, concerned when he saw that Sam was carrying her. She nodded, giving him a smile.

"I'm okay, Sam is just being dramatic" She joked and Sam placed her gently on the ground, one hand still firmly resting in the small of her back. Sam made a face, it was still too early for jokes for him.

"I can't hear though" She said with a smirk and Oliver pulled her into a hug.

"Good cause Sammy can't live without his rookie." He told her while giving him a pointed look, but it was true. Sam knew that he would be incapable of surviving without his doe-eyed rookie.


End file.
